Hawk's Fight with Buck


        (Alternative version of the fight scene from "Time of the Hawk")



Teresa Spanics






Chapter Fourteen


The next day, Hawk woke up feeling nauseous, but determined once again not to eat.  When Nurse Jensen came by with an offer of food, Hawk just shook his head at her even though he felt light headed and about to throw up.

Dr. Goodfellow came by and asked. "You have not eaten anything in these last few days, Hawk.  Nurse Jensen says you still don't want anything to eat, is that true?"  

"Yes," replied Hawk.

Sighing, Dr. Goodfellow looked at Hawk and said.  "You give me no choice, but to put a feeding tube down your throat.  Nurse Jensen, the feeding tube and head restraint."

"What?!" Hawk cried as Dr. Goodfellow slipped a head restraint on him.

Once Hawk found he couldn't move his head, he protested.  "You ... you can't do ..."

"I am sorry, but you leave me no choice." Dr. Goodfellow interrupted as he put a brace inside Hawk's mouth to keep it open while he inserted the feeding tube.  "There.  You will feel the tube go down your throat, but rest assured, there will be little discomfort.  I know that this is frightening for you, but I don't want to lose you to starvation."

Hawk struggled against the tube as it went down his throat into his stomach, but was unsuccessful in stopping its progress.  Unable to bite down on the tube to stop its journey due to the brace holding his mouth open, the birdman could feel it as it proceeded on its way down his throat towards his digestive tract.

Hawk never thought that he would feel so frantic or as helpless as he did at that moment.  He could do nothing to stop the elder healer from carrying out what he felt was his duty.  Hawk desperately tried to think of a way.  There had to be a way.

Dr. Goodfellow watched the process from a monitor to ensure the tube went into the stomach and not the lungs.  Once one end of the feeding tube was safely inside Hawk's stomach, the doctor removed the brace and taped the remaining part of the tube to one side of Hawk's mouth.  The rest of the tube leaving Hawk's mouth continued on to a machine that would dispense the necessary nutritious liquids at timed intervals.

Then Dr. Goodfellow gently removed the head restraint from Hawk's head  and he apologized to Hawk.  "I'm sorry to do this to you, but I am not going to let you try to starve yourself to death."

With his arms restrained, Hawk realized that he could not remove the feeding tube by himself.  Laying on the medi-bed and trying to think of a way to have the tube removed, an idea came to him on how he convinced the healer to do so.

"You will not be able to keep this feeding tube in me if you don't want me to soil the bed," Hawk exclaimed.

"Oh, I think that problem can be easily corrected.  Nurse Jensen, I need the catheter," said Dr. Goodfellow.

"What are you doing?" Hawk asked Dr. Goodfellow as he pulled up the blanket past Hawk's knees to his hips.

"Just relax, my boy.  This won't hurt a bit," replied Dr. Goodfellow as he was handed the catheter by Nurse Jensen.

Hawk saw the strange looking device just as it was placed between his legs.  Suddenly, the purpose of the device came to him as it was attached to his body between his legs.  The idea of having another medical device attached to him was unnerving for Hawk. Without thinking, the birdman tried to kick at the catheter, but the leg restraints prevented him from doing that  Then desperately, Hawk tried to pull himself away from the catheter with its large, attached tubing, but it was too late as it would not release itself.

Seeing Hawk's reaction to the catheter, Dr. Goodfellow immediately put a hand on Hawk's shoulder and soothingly said, "Calm down, my dear boy.  It is for your own good.  You will only have to wear the catheter for a few days, I assure you."

"A few days," groaned Hawk at the thought of being attached to another medical device.

As Dr. Goodfellow covered his legs with the blanket again, Hawk realized that he was literally at the mercy of humans now even more apparent.  If things could not be any worse, the humiliation of the tube for force feeding and now a strange device attached to him obviously design for the removal of body waste made Hawk wish he had died on Throm instead of being saved by humans.

On the verge of tears, Hawk moaned.  "Please ... just let me die."

Dr. Goodfellow, just managed to hear what Hawk said and saw the tears start to form in the birdman's eyes, became extremely worried about Hawk's death wish and asked.  "Why do you want to die so badly, Hawk?"

Managing to talk past the feeding tube, Hawk said.  "I want to be with my beloved, Koori.  She was my mate."

Remembering when he lost his own wife a few years ago, Dr. Goodfellow said.

"I understand that you are upset.  Losing your mate, Koori, especially after being together for quite a while ..."




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